Human Body in HTML & PHP

paper cutting ideas

How to Loose your weight

Son & Dad

Son was crying...
Dad came and asked"why are you crying............?"tell me,i'm ur friend
son:kuch nahi yaar .....horlics jyada mangliya toh teri wali ne mara...

Banana war

E-mail Shock..............

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife.

However he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address and without realizing his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile,

somewhere a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her mail,

expecting message from her relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I've just reached
Date: 13th Nov 2009

I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and I am allowed to send e-mails to my loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you.

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was..!

Dialog among indian and nepalese politician

New Nepali Currency

My Resignation letter

Blood Return

Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up & man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him & says: Pay u monthly, u bastard!

Flies Murderer

Jenny walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" Jenny Asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, two females, three males, " he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, how can you tell?
He responded, " two were on the phone & Three were on a beer can, "

Hot

Licker License

A guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar.

It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them... the bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.

Each time the guy calls for another beer this happens. So after his third beer, he decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts and she decks him!

He is laying on the floor moaning, "Jeez lady... Why do you let the bartender do it?"

"Duh," says the blonde, "He has a licker license

TEST YOUR VOCABULARY

Guys and Gals, No Cheating.... how many did u get right?

:


FILL IN THE BLANKS



1. BOO_S ???



2. _ _ NDOM ???



3. F_ _K ???



4. P_N_S ???



5. PU_S_ ???





ANSWERS:



1. BOOKS


2. RANDOM


3. FORK


4. PANTS


5. PULSE



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: MAY GOD BLESS YOUR DIRTY MIND!

WITHDRAWING MONEY WAS NEVER SO MUCH FUN UNTIL NOW...!

Sexy Motor Bike

Great Business Idea

Psychology in business – know what your customers want!
The guy probably does not know what he is drinking, but he is after something more than juice.

Reportedly for US$10 a try, you will “see" when you finish sucking.
Who says making money is tough!

What is the different between in Prision and office

IN PRISON
you spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell .

AT WORK
you spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle ..

IN PRISON
you get three meals a day (free).

AT WORK
you only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself .

IN PRISON
you get time off for good behavior.

AT WORK
you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

IN PRISON
a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you ..

AT WORK
you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself

IN PRISON
you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK
you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON
you get your own toilet .

AT WORK
you have to share .

IN PRISON
they allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK
you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON
all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.

AT WORK
You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Humm?

Which Sounds Better?

So what are you waiting for.........
Kill your manager & go to jail !!!

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back After 6 hours and then analyze The situation.

If they are counting the Bricks.
Put them in the accounts Department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing ..

If they have messed up the Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations .
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks Into pieces.
Put them in information Technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried Different combinations, yet Not a brick has Been moved.
Put them in sales.

If they have already left for The day.
Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the Window.
Put them on strategic Planning..

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick Has been Moved.

Congratulate them and put them In Top management

Excellent replies (miss universe contest)

Question
Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.........................
(Applause! Applause!)

Question
Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening....
(Applause! Applause!)

Question
Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth......
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)

Question:
Ms Soudi Arabia: how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Saudi: Well, I can say that male organs in Saudi are like thieves.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Saudi: Because they like to enter through the back door.....
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)

Question:
Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft...........................
Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! )

Question:
Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)

Question:
Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms India: Because it works day and night......
(Applause! Applause! Applause! )